10 Things I'm Accepting and 5 Things I Want to Change Now That I'm in My Thirties
You guys: it's my birthday! It's not quite the same milestone as last year and I'm definitely feeling more relaxed as I'm one more year into my thirties. Nick and I are currently in the Catskills, where there may or may not be cell phone reception. I am ready to bring in another year of my thirties totally relaxed and stress free.
As I dig deeper into my thirties, where I'm finally starting to feel like a grown-up, I'm really finding myself appreciating and understanding myself better. It feels like we spend so much of our twenties trying to figure out who we are, what we want, and what's going to happen next. Now that I'm in my thirties, I'm still not always sure what I want but I'm getting a better understanding of who I am. Here are a few things, both silly and serious, that I'm accepting about myself:
1. I'm really into pink. I always thought it was way too girly and not "serious" enough. Now I basically wear it as a neutral. It's really freeing to just decide what you like and go for it.
2. I am a messy person. My hair is always a little frizzy. There is always a pile of sweatshirts and leggings at the end of my bed. My closet floor has shoes everywhere. I've come to accept that I'm messy. I just don't want to waste time on the little things when I can be out there doing big things.
3. I will be late to something if I don't want to go. This may be one of those things that I should change but maybe I should also just commit to things I really want to go to?
4. I really love dessert. I remember feeling ashamed for having a big sweet tooth. Shouldn't I love vegetables and salad instead?!? But cupcakes are so good and I decided it's much better to just accept what you love. And there's plenty of time to have your cake and eat your broccoli too.
5. I will always want to be somewhere else. I used to feel guilty that I was constantly planning places to go to. It's not like I don't love my home. But there is so much of the world to see and explore. Why should I feel guilty about wanting to expand my horizons?
6. My life is "boring". I spend my days teaching. I cook dinner for my husband and I. We plan little weekend trips. I put on a face mask most Friday nights (which you can view in all its glory on my Instagram story). To be honest, my life sounds boring. But I love the simplicity, the small moments, and the joy I've surrounded myself with.
7. I like following the rules. Recently someone said (not to my face of course) that I'm always following the rules. They said it in such a negative way. But I like rules because to me that shows you're respecting others. Rules can keep things organized. Plus how can you ever hope to break them if you don't follow them first?
8. Naps are life. Sleep is amazing and I'm a more amazing person for it.
9. I wear jeans too often. I've given up on wearing things I don't like for the sake of fitting in or doing it for the blog or the 'gram. Jeans life is the life for me.
10. I struggle with self-confidence and it's okay. I always thought everyone floated through life completely confident and without doubt. Unlike me, who worries a lot about how I'm perceived and how to do things right. I'm trying to be more confident in myself but I also accept that I'm going to struggle to maintain it. I think confidence and doubt can be side-by-side and it's okay.
While I wholeheartedly believe in accepting yourself as you are, it's also important to never stop growing. Yes, even when you're a true "grown-up" in your thirties. I can say that I accept that I'm not perfect so there are things I'm working to change. They're not sweeping changes; just little things to make life better.
1. Get control of my sleep schedule. I feel like having a good sleep schedule is the secret to happiness. It's got to be true because I feel 100 times better when I get a good night's sleep. So this is my top priority as I go into the next year.
2. Stop talking badly about my body. Yes, I'm going to admit to negative self-talk. Like how I used to be thinner. How I can't possibly go to the beach this summer. How I'll never lose all the weight I need to. It's time for it to STOP. I'm not achieving anything by talking badly about myself. So this year I'm going to accept myself as I am and find ways to celebrate my healthy body.
3. Don't engage in negative talk just because. Instead I'm going to try to be more positive about everything instead of indulging in those random and unproductive venting sessions.
4. Accept the quiet moments. Sometimes I over plan and try to fill every moment with something. I want to spend more time accepting and just being in those quiet and easy moments.
5. Be okay letting more people in. I talk about this recently in my Sunday letter but I'm trying to be more vulnerable and accepting other people in. I have a hard time opening up but I'm working on changing that. More friendships please!
In this space of acceptance and change, I hope you'll find things about yourself that you love and only a few things you want to do better. I think we could all use a little acceptance and self love, no matter how old we are. And with that being said, cheers to another year!